Merandering thoughts of a girl...

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thank you

SOUNDS LIKE!!!!

1). The under track of the beep-beep-beep RPC contact noise at work.
2). Interlaced with the repetitive noise of Ed at full volume with his god damn headphones on saying there is a hunter/boomer/smoker on me!
3). Tara annoying voice from work every few minutes.

thank you that is all...

by the way I hate Brandon for introducing left for dead.

Just the realization that I hang out with some people that less than 10 years ago I would have beaten the shit out of them for even mentioning the fact of being better than me because I am a woman and you are a man. Let alone fucking calling it out in the middle of a f***king party that you seem to think that the oh so important conversation that you are having is only meant for a man and your seem to think you know better than I do. Please thank the intelligence and maturity that I posses now compared to before because I would have otherwise laid your ass out on the concrete floor you were standing on sir.

thank you that is all.

I am home alone... for once in a very LONG time. Casey has gone with Brandon on a mini road trip. And Ed and Karen are out running about... I am going to enjoy my afternoon. ATM, I am waiting on laundry to be done and while such I am going to enjoy working on my first bodice... I went and purchased by boning today.

Things have been a bit hectic recently. This past couple of weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster... Emergency Eye doctor exam for Casey.. (the week BEFORE he is cover by assets medical insurance)... Car slightly exploding and needing to have $729.00 work/towing put into it... and other major irritations over the past 3 weeks or so. Luckily Casey and I are doing really well at work. This is the second month in a row Casey has hit goal, as well as my first month hitting it. So money will only be tight for a SHORT period of time.

I have realized though that I am HORRIBLY home sick. I have been trying to get down to see my mother for the past couple of months and just haven't had either the funds or the time to do so. I miss my Jessie and My Chrissy... and I really miss talking to certain people from High school... Adam, Sarah, and others. Catching up with the old crew would be really nice.

Other than that all things are good, Casey and I will be celebrating our 1 year very soon. I haven't inherited AMAZING friends over the best year and love being able to have people over to my home to have dinner parties and game nights. I have been going through NERO withdrawal and need to play/plot VERY soon!!! but it seems it wont be till March that I will be able to do such. Sad Panda....

I would really like to start remembering to post more often... especially to make sure my ass sticks to the working out thing/eating right. I wish Hannah lived closer then it would be so much easier!!!

Sneak our ferret has passed away, it happened kind of suddenly she hasnt been acting strange or anything but this afternoon Ed found blood in her fur and in her stool. We came home to a very sick ferret. We were on our way out the door with her to the emergency vet and she passed away in my arms. We cried and said our good byes. She isnt suffering anymore and thats what matters.

Sooooo, its official.... we will be moving soon.

We all sign a lease for the new apt. on the 15th of Nov. We have til the first of Dec to be all moved in.

I am hoping!!!!! that people will help. psst (hannah, timmy, Jenn, Jen, Jay,) we will buy food and/or drinks afterwards.

I am soooo happy that I will finally have my own place up here. No more living with a parent and sleeping on a air mattress in your friends living room. My own true place.

Were going to get to paint too!

Purple and black motif is what I have decided on.... if anyone has any ideas please share!

~jumbled mess of feelings~

I dont like it when people expect your support on things and then when the shoe is on the other foot... its wrong of you to expect the same.

Not fair in the slightest.

Sad~

Saturday is still a go!

But as for Sunday- Casey and I cant make it to the picnic as much as we wanted to go.

Casey's little sister wants to go to Great America for her b-day. By some chance... Casey's mom has accquired the money for her to go. But she is not able to take her. So she is going to pay for myself and Casey to take his little sister on Sunday.

If anyone would like to join let us know. Otherwise have fun on thus picnic and wish we could have made it.

Saturday - unless otherwise changed from now until Saturday... Myself, Casey, Karen and Ed are planning on going up to Ren Faire. I know that there are people wanting to go... but due to scheduling conflicts on other weekends. I think this is the only weekend the four of us can make it up there together.

If people would like to join us... aka Timmy and Hannah... please let me know it would be awesome to have you. Jen and Jay? Jenn.. Justin?

But as for Sunday insert copy and paste here..

This weekend
So READ THIS! For those who are nearby.... Sunday, busse woods bike ride/picnic. Everyone down?

(Stolen from Jen's journal <_< ) The only thing about this is... myself nor Casey have a bike... we would be more than happy to go and still hang out and picnic... but as far as biking is concern we are hoofing it.

Friday night- went and saw "Handcock," it was good. Interesting story... not sure I would have done it in the same way, might of given more of a back story then just hey this is what we are and this is what has happened between us. But again different plot so it was all around good movie. Went to the park afterwards took some pictures of Casey and I. Waiting around for Brandon to call and let us know he was in town. Went to steak and shake sat and talked and talked and talked with Brandon while we were waiting for Kare Bear to get off and meet us. Talked some more, then finally got back to Karens around 2:30 after going and getting stuff for lunch for the one day.

Saturday- got up and went to the Wisconsin One day and NPCed. I had alot of fun doing it. Learning to fight better is always a plus. That and I liked being able to see NERO from the other side. 6 hours and about 2 dozen mods later we are sore and just go back to Karens to eat and watch season 7 of Buffy. Nom Nom Nom chinaese food and crab ragoon. Drank alittle and then ended up talking more till the wee hours in the morning to B. Love talking to that guy.

Sunday- woke up at like noon. Karen was going to the rents house so she wasnt able to talk much. Went to subway with B and casey. Then went home and spent the rest of the day relaxing and watching Buffy. It was nice to have just a day alone.

Now its Monday, and I am at work bored... with not much to do. Wondering whats going down for this weekend.

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for Which Chess Piece are You Test?...

The Rook's Citizen

Take Which Chess Piece are You Test? at HelloQuizzy

So I feel like I have been sewing for days upon days!

Lets see the done list thus far:
Styx's Vest
Styx's Pants
Styx's Hat w/ ears
Styx's Tail
Tannon's Pants
Gil's Pants
Gil's Shirt
Sie's Skirt
All the Nexus Tabards!

I also have been trying to get the book phys reps done. I have B's done, going to start on Tim's today at lunch, I have never done a Cel rep before, should be fun, the only problem I think I am going to run into is getting the real spell names for the vol. 2 spells.

I am looking foward to this weekend. Sie is just a complete 180 from Dustie. I wanna just have fun with her and be silly. "jump shake your tail" I think the people we are going to be running around with are AMAZING Role Players and if we are not having fun we will make our own.

Stuff left to do:
CLEAN ROOM AND CAR!
Pack- both me and casey
shop- if anything is in need of stuff let me know, going to try and make it to dick blicks to pick up more make up, sponges, and brushes. Tights for Sie's arms and legs.
food-snackies for the weekend, water and gatorade.
Headband ears for Styx (and maybe me)
Character Sheets

downward spiral
Lets just recap the last two weeks of my shitty existance.

I am laid off twice from the same job.... the job mind you that I left Springfield for and moved up here.
I can only see Casey two days a week now.
I have sent over 25 resumes out since loosing said job and have only gone on two interviews which both ended up not working out.
If I cant find a job in little over two weeks I am going to have to move back to Springfield and start working at CCB again.

Oh and then to top off the horrid sundae that is my life right now... the cherry if you will

MY COMPUTER IS BEING SUPER STUPID!!! I have defragged it twice... cleaned up disk space and it still is running SOOO slow... so it just makes trying to send out resumes that much more of a pain in MY ASS. It takes me twenty minutes to do anything online now... so if any one wants to put me out of my misery please do.

You know what sucks more than....
Loosing your job... loosing that same job twice!

yep as of yesterday afternoon, I once again dont work for Blair Television. In one short conversation, one that went alot like last time, my entire world feels like its crashing in around me.

I am not sure what I am going to do and feel pretty god damn helpless about the whole thing.

My Birthday play back
So wake up too early on Saturday morning. I am wide awake at 8 am. Stupid work and not letting me be able to sleep in anymore. So Im awake and still sick. Not really wanting to get up and start the day. Finally I get up jump in the shower and get ready for the day.

I leave the apartment around 11:30 to go meet Jen and Jay at cost co and well my Stubblefield luck rears its ugly damn head and

SOME MEXICAN WOMEN ON HER CELL PHONE backs up into me, I swerve to get out of the way and she continues to drive. So to say the lease the passanger side of my car looks even worse now and my mirror is being held on by duct tape. So I keep calm and collective, tell Casey not to be indignant and to go get the duct tape. Call the police department to find out that when you get in a car accident and no one is hurt it is your responsibilty along with the person you got in the accident with to come to the station and file a report together. I couldnt freakin believe this, this is where I got mad. So me and this lady decide to just settle for $150 to get the mirror fix and call it even. Cause at this point getting my already gouged up bent and dented car door fixed from dans attack with the crow bar really was no point so it wasnt going to be over this ladys deductible. Went to the bank and cashed the check immediatly so that there isnt any chance for her to stop payment or whatever. So thats how the day started.

Went grocery shopping for the party... note to self dont buy that much food next time. lol. Ran all the errands I need to run then finally get over to justins house around 4 or so mind you the party was suppose to start at 2... oh well people showed up shortly afterwards which worked out perfectly. 22 people showed up. This made me way happy. I had a tinker bell piniata that didnt even last for the boys to hit. Karen made me strawberry cupcakes that were AMAZING. We played bags and cooked out and sang along with Ken. Then when it got to late we moved down stairs and played poker and beer pong. Played an amazing game against Justin and Steve with Justins dad as my partner. Had to down 3 shots of rum as part of the deal. Figured I was done after this cause by this time I was really feeling it.

Went outside and was just sitting around bullshiting and talking like we all normally do. And well for some gwad aweful reason I decided to chanllage Stivers... stivers of all freakin people... to a game of rum pong... RUM PONG... and that is about where my comprehension for the night stopped. Yep I blacked out for about 5 hours after this supposed game where I tried to bet my way out of at one point or another. Getting attacked by the RUM RAPTOR aka Stivers with hockey gloves on. And sitting outside with people trying to convince me to get sick.

oh and then the best part. Casey has informed me that a raccoon was trying to attack me at some part of the night and I wanted to leave and become one of the raccoon people.

Soooo all and all I had a good b-day other than the 5 hours of blacking out. lesson learded never to play rum pong.

Thanks to everyone that came out and made my b-day an awesome time. and I am sorry if I said or did anything to offend people at one point or another later on that night

there is always the brief moment of happiness then followed by the overwhelming feeling of anger and hate for having been cursed with the cramps that would bring most men to their knees in pain. *crawls into bed and groans*

Work is still way stressful everyone seems on the edge of their seat waiting for the ax to drop. I finally seemed to have gotten thru to my reps about not knowing what the hell they want me to do since working for the two of them is way different then working for Stephanie. So I can only hope that they will stop giving me the "moron" look.

Home life is non existant at this point. Staying some where else for weeks at a time will have the tendency to do that. I dont think they have a problem with it since I still am paying rent and am not their using up stuff.

P.S. He is amazing in all sense of the word. *lacking any other word than amazing* And yes Jen called it by saying I have a glow about me.

Please dont mind that I have not been myself as of late... there are several converstaions I am having in my head at any one given time.

Me and Dan are no longer together... It had to end. He has school and that is more important than some relationship that may have not led to anything to begin with. I am in a place right now that I need to be some what selfish and its not fair to him. So we ended it. Things are a bit up in the air right now. Not sure what the future will bring. But it is what it is.

Other feelings have come up and I am trying to take my time and sort thru everything.